It never gets old

It sure does never get old seeing the JTRMD bands. Here is the latest sighting:  gone fishing for a WIN.  He also got his band the night that my mom rushed the field to give Stanzi his, however, she ran into him later in parking lot and handed it to him.  Hopefully, having another Iowa quarterback with the JTRMD band will bring the Hawks the some luck this year! Brian would be very excited to see this video, it sure is pretty neat that we are still getting support!  

I have come to realize that as life goes on one word can be used to describe everything....bittersweet.  UGH, it is hard to pick up pieces when everything around you reminds you of Brian and furthermore it is hard to continue to do normal things because that reminds of Brian.  Tonight I'm going with some friends to go see one of our favorite bands from college.  Some of my favorite nights in college this band was there for.  Brian and I enjoyed them so much we usually were the first and last ones on the dance floor.  No lie one time a guy came up to us and paid us to keep dancing.  It never hurts to leave the bar with more money then what you went with...kind of like vegas! It will be weird to go see the band tonight without Brian, without my dancing partner.

Tomorrow I get to see Brian's parents and a lot of Brian's friends from high school....another bittersweet moment.  I love weddings, Brian was a groomsmen in this wedding, bittersweet.  I'm not looking forward to the awkward conversations.  I hate answering, "how are you doing."  I hate talking about myself, I hate answering questions about what I'm up to.  Last year the focus has been completely on Brian, no it is on me and I just hate things being about me.  In high school when I graduated my mom asked what I wanted at my party, I told her ,"I want everyone to sit around a campfire with smores and everyone has to tell me one good thing about me."  We both laughed, because really I would HATE THAT,  I like to lie behind the curtains and have a silent effect.  It is just one more thing I have to suck up and deal with.

Hopefully, all this rain in the midwest will end.  I'm tired of hearing my sump pump.  Please come back sun, but lets stay below 85 degrees!  :)  demanding, I know.