Life is to short!

We have been so overwhelmed by every one's responses to Brian...THANK YOU! Our Gmail account even crashed because we had so many new emails. We feel blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives who care about us and lift us up when we seem to be in a never ending valley.

When this journey first began all we could do is hope and pray for the best, but in the back of your mind you also have fear about the future. When you have the "big C" fear never escapes you it is with you 24/7. You can try as hard as you can to ignore it focus on the present, try to be happy, try to live life but you always have fear...fear of the unknown. Brian and I both tried to ignore our fear as much as possible by not talking about what we were going through. When you live it the last thing you want to do is talk about it. When you get the opportunity to be with friends and family you want nothing more to forget about what is going on and just be normal. This blog allowed us to talk about some parts of our journey without being forced to repeatedly address it and re-live it.

When Brian and I found out his "C" had spread we spent the day in his hospital bed. We spent the day talking. We both had this overwhelming, odd feeling. We felt some relief, relief from our fear. Once you've been told your fate that fear escapes you and you can focus on reality. It is not very often that people have the chance to sit down and have serious discussions about the future, but we did. Everyday we take time to talk. Brian tells me what he wants me to do with my life, what he wants me to achieve, and how he wants grow. As hard as every day is we can be honest with each other and know what we want for the other. Every new day there is a new pain.

Brian was released from the hospital last Thursday so he has at least been able to be comfortable at home. He can sleep for hours without any nurse barging in and is at least able to go to the bathroom without being hooked up to an IV pole. Since his counts continue to drop he has to go to the infusion center at the hospital every day for blood and platelets. This is better then living at the hospital but still hard for him. At home he pretty much sleeps...I have never had control of the TV so much before.

This afternoon while he was getting fueled up he was able to Skype with his best friend Andrew. It was pretty cool to see Andrew since he is overseas and it was the first time in a long time Brian had a smile on or cracked a joke.

As always, we appreciate all your kind words and prayers. It really does help Brian to read the emails you guys send. Not everyone has the chance to hear from the people around them about how much they love you and how much you mean to them.

P.s. we got many emails stating how the loved Brian's stories from the past 10 months so here is one more. Thursday morning we found out from our Dr. we could go home. So while Brian was getting some blood I went back to bed. I woke up a few hours later in horrible pain and could not move. I told Brian to call my parents who happened to be in DSM. They came over and I knew I couldn't sit up let a lot walk. So the nurses called the hospital transporters and got taken down to the ER. I had slept wrong and woke up fast so my neck muscles went into spasm and I was stuck with my head turned to left and bent to the right. The ER doctor gave me a shot which let them relax and I was able to go back to Brian. I asked the transporter if he had ever had to take a visitor of a patient down to the ER...he said no. I guess there is a first for everything...as embarrassing and funny as it was. We are just one HOT MESS of a couple! **The neck is better!

As I Walk Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death...

...I shall fear no evil because God is with me (23rd Psalm) It is a beautiful verse from the Bible. I have found over the last week though it is much easier to read it than to be the one walking in the Valley. I had a CT scan done when they were looking for the source of my fevers and they found that my cancer has spread yet again. It is in my spleen, parts of my liver and in my bone marrow. Things are really going down hill quickly and I'm scared. Mortality is a very tough thing to face for anyone and I am right in the middle of it. We are trying one last Chemotherapy drug but it is a long shot. I have literally done every drug that modern medicine has to offer and nothing is working properly. We may try some alternate medication options just to see what they do.

I pretty much constant fevers but they seem to be getting slightly better. I go in every day to the infusion center and get blood products as needed. Yesterday was a really rough day. I had high fevers and just basically slept all day. I got lots of sleep and I am feeling better today. Hopefully this continues today. My parents are going to be in town today so I want to have a good day.

Since all of this has come at our family so fast I has been hard to take it all in. I have been praying a lot and Stacey reads me scriptures too. I would like to hear from friends and family via email - justtryandruinmyday@gmail.com or text messages or cards. I would love it if you would send me favorite memories that we may have shared, favorite scriptures or if my journey has helped you in anyway. Please send these out to me it would really mean a lot for someone who is just in need of a smile or some hope.

God Bless You All,

Brian Pritchard

Pray

We are still in the hosptial...no end really insight.

Brian still has fevers. His counts have been bouncing back and forth so the past few days he has had a lot of blood transfusions and platelet transfusions. We are still investigating and testing to figure out the source of these fevers.

Brian has maintained a pretty good appetite and has been drinking a lot of fluids.

please continue to pray for relief for his body and guidance for the doctors.


We try to hang our hat on hope and know that we kind find refuge in our faith.

If you would like to help Brian you can send him letters or comments to help him gain strength to fight.

Still in a waiting game.....

I know many of you have patiently been waiting for a new update. Sorry it has taken so long, but there really is nothing new to report. We are still in a waiting game trying to figure out what is going on with Brian.

Thursday night Brian broke out with his highest fever yet and has still continued to break out in them. Although, he does break out in fevers he did hit 98.6 a few times the past few days...a number we haven't seen in a while. The doctors have a few ideas on what is going on and Friday we finally got the ball rolling with some tests, all of which were negative. All the hypothesis cover a wide range of the spectrum of what could be going on so we aren't hanging our hat on anything until there are more definitive answers. We just ask for prayers that his fevers continue to stay down and resolve. Furthermore, we ask for guidance and wisdom for those directing his care.

Overall Brian is in somewhat good spirits. I think Brian has come to terms with the fact he will be in the hospital for a while but I think it is hard for him to be here at the same time. When you have been in the hospital 11 times equating to almost 10 weeks you HATE being here. The food never changes, people come and go, there is fear, tests, tubes and lines, etc. We keep to ourselves in our room not only to keep out germs but keep out everything else that goes on in the hospital. Brian does not want to know nor have any idea what is being called on the intercom. We like to stay in our peaceful bubble.

Saturday I ran home and my sister and I had a crazy few hours of cooking. Since Brian wont eat hospital food (I don't argue with him) we decided to make a bunch of homemade meals to bring to him. He loves my meatloaf so I made him 7 meatloaf mash potato dinners, homemade fajitas, and chili. His mom is also bringing some of his childhood favorites on Monday when they come to visit. Hopefully, that will help us bring some part of home to him.

Brian watched a lot of football this weekend, napped, ate, and repeated. He didn't feel the best yesterday so it was a quite day for us. His counts dropped again Sat and Sun. so he did have to have a blood transfusion. This was the first time his white blood cells had literally been at 0. The lab was even kind enough to put an 'A' next to the numbers so that people would understand that 0 was Abnormally Low.

Today Brian napped most of the afternoon and then he had visitors. My mom brought him some of his favorite BBQ and then our friends brought us some cookies :). Brian's good friend from work came and watched the Jets and Pats game with him as well. Tonight his fever started to creep up so we decided it was time to call in the big guns....a HUGE bowl of Blue Bunny's Bunny tracks ice cream. Hopefully, the Carmel, chocolate swirls, peanut butter bunnies, and chocolate covered nuts will be enough for him to overcome his rising temp.

Brian was starting to lose some of his hair on his beard secondary to radiation so tonight we just decided to shave it. We were tempted, I was tempted although not a fan, to leave him with a dirty stash (mustache). However, Brian said cut it all, chops included.

Hopefully tomorrow we continue to get more tests completed so we can get some answers and peace of mind. Please continue to pray, pray, and pray more that he can overcome this hick-up and we can continue on. Brian was supposed to do chemo this week but that will be pushed back to give his body more time to recover.

Chocolate popsicles

Thanks for the prayers, comments, words of encouragement etc. We continue to ask for more.
Brian's fevers continue to come on so I don't think he will be leaving the hospital anytime soon. He has accepted this and understands there is really nothing he can do.

We bought him a new video game so hopefully that ties him over for the weekend. I might have to get a few more if he stays in another week that really is the only thing that kills time while I'm at work. One can only watch daytime TV for so long...and he has seen all the nature documentaries he can on netflix :).

Today Brian met with the infectious disease doctor so hopefully as they do more tests we can come up with some answers. Also, today Brian was able to visit with his parents. I think it helped for him to have company for the day. They brought us a lot of goodies to add to his snack bag (he already opened a few of them). They bought Brian and I lunch and dinner which was very appreciated. Brian refuses to eat hospital food...I don't blame him, so we try to bring him in food to eat. We brought some food from home but I'm not home to cook so it is easier to bring stuff in. Tomorrow I have the day off so I will have time to run home and get more clothes, etc.

Brian's special friend told him to try chocolate Popsicles...the hospital didn't have any. We did however have vanilla ice cream with M&M's. Brian LOVED it and his fever went down for a bit. So then he had vanilla ice cream with peanut butter cup mixed in.

Hopefully the weekend brings relaxation and relief. Thanks for everything!!!

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY

Our only request is prayers! Please pray that Brian's fevers will subside. For some reason the past 24 hours have not gone well. It seems he has had fevers more frequently and has not been feeling well with them either. Tonight he started having headaches, body aches, etc. His counts did go up from yesterday which is good but they are still low. Since he is breaking out in more fevers our doctor decided to call in infectious disease to see if we were missing some kind of infection even though Brian has been on anti-biotics. Brian is getting very frustrated with everything so please pray that he can overcome these fevers. His parents will be here tomorrow to spend some time with him. Hopefully, that will help with his anxiousness about being in the hospital. Brian has two weeks left of radiation. He is starting to feel fatigued from the radiation and everything going on too.

We thank you for everything and all your support. Please continue to send Brian cards, comments, etc. to lift his spirits up.

Just another day...

Well we found out today Brian will be in the hospital longer. Our doctor came to do rounds around 7 am at which Brian got sick and spiked a fever. He said that earned him a few more days! We hope that Friday he will be D/C, however, he can't leave until he has no fever for 24 hours...we are not close yet. Good news, his counts started to creep up. However, they creeped up slow and they have a long ways to go. We decided to push his next chemo back another week and a half to have more time for his body to recover.

Brian wasn't happy that he has to stay but we understand it is what is best for him. I did bribe him with a new video game...I usually don't buy him games. He has nothing to do during the day but sleep...I think sleeping all day yesterday is why his counts went up instead of down.

When Brian is in the hospital he usually walks 3-5 miles but with his broken leg he can't. While I was gone today the nurse brought in a machine for his legs that helps pump blood so he doesn't get blood clots. Brian hated it and decided it was worth more for him to hop around the halls then to have it on. I think it is unnecessary because he is active enough and I have him doing bed exercises anyways so I told him he can shut it off and put it under the bed :). Allison did however use it when she visited.

Tonight we celebrated my birthday with pizza from Felix and Oscars. Brian had some pizza and then spiked a fever...I guess his body did not like it. While we had birthday pizza we watched some basketball on tv.

This surprised was at my doorstep when I ran home for some clothes! Thanks Rachael.

Brian sucked it up for a picture even though he didn't feel good :(

This is Brian's snack corner by his hosptial bed. One bag of Gatorade one bag of food for him to snack on...chips, cajan rice bowls, PB cups, and ceral. The picture above shows all of the bottle water he has been drinking. He is on IV fluids but we make him drink tons of fluid too, to help his fevers.

Brian prior to the hospital doing a Vick's treatment...obviously that didn't work!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I appreciate all your kind words and cards.

Still In The Hospital

My blood counts have continued to go down slightly which is normal for the first 10 days after Chemo. I was told today that I am probably going to be in the hospital for at least a few more days. Due to the low blood counts my ability to contract an infection is very high so they don't want to take any chances. So far they have found no infections and that is the way that we want to keep it. I was not a happy camper this morning when I found out I was going to stay in the hospital. I took a big nap, realized that they are keeping me here because it's whats best for me and chilled out. I am still spiking fevers and it is because of the low blood counts they think. They draw my blood often to keep tabs on me. When I do get a fever they just give me Tylenol and that usually takes care of it. But even when I'm not running a High fever I am usually running at least a low grade one. All of these things that are happening a fairly normal for the type of Chemo that I am on. It really can wipe out your blood counts, and it has. Pray that my counts go back up and I can bust out of here.

At least there is a big football game on tonight. Hopefully I am feeling good so that I can watch all of it. I don't really care who wins either way but my sister did get me an Oregon Ducks hat when she visited the campus so I guess I will cheer for them tonight. Quack! Quack! Quack! Also it is Stacey's Birthday tomorrow! The Big 25! We were going to out on a date but now we are going to have dinner for 2 at the hospital. Leave her a Birthday message. I love you honey! You are an Angel! Thank you so much for everything that you do. There's no way I could do it without you.

God is Good! Happy Birthday Stacey!

Brian Pritchard

Back In The High Life Again

The title to this post is a reference to a classic Steve Winwood song not a reference to the High Life Lounge hear in Des Moines. Both of which are fantastic though. No I am referring to my new humble abode located on the 4th floor of Methodist Hospital. It is my old stomping grounds. When I was first diagnosed I did all of my Chemo treatments here. Stacey and I know the amazing staff very well and are more than acclimated to the amenities and surroundings. After I initially got over the being in the hospital for the weekend blues I realized that this place has a safe homey feel too it for us now. There is just something about this place that makes you feel comforted and when you are being taken care of by such professionals it puts your mind at ease.

Well let's back track a little. So I have been getting these fevers, mainly at night. Some have spiked to about 102.5. We were put on a Tylenol regiment with the addition of a Z Pack. A Z Pack is basically a high dose antibiotic. This was going ok until yesterday when the fevers came back. As Stacey and I went in to get my fluids they took my temp and it was 102.4 again... Not good. I was seen by one of the Oncology Doctors and then admitted to the hospital after my radiation treatment. Needless to say I was pretty bummed... I was hoping that I could finally go back to work this week but it seems that that will probably not happen again due to the amount of antibiotics that I need to get over the next week. 2 times daily intravenously as well as radiation treatments everyday next week. Long story short, I wasn't in the best mood, I wasn't feeling good and I was going to be cooped up in the hospital for the weekend. Then I had what some people call a moment of clarity.

Sometimes all we need in our lives is perspective. As soon as we got checked into the hospital Stacey and began to catch up with some of the staff about what had been going on at the hospital since we were here several months ago. We made the mistake of asking about other patients. 2 patients empirical that we had grown close to early in my diagnosis. Both patients had rare forms of Leukemia and it was told to us that they both didn't pull through. My mind went blank. I couldn't talk or think straight. I gave it sometime to set in. After saying some silent prayers for there families I changed my mindset. This was not a woe is me situation. My small problems of possibly having an infection and being hospitalized were nothing more than dust in the wind compared to the things that those two families had gone through in the last few months. I thought about what my role is a Cancer Patient. I decided that no matter what you fight!

As a cancer patient the most important thing to fight for is hope and future. Think of the future and what could be not as something that is distant and vague but as a direct outcome of the rough treatments that you are going though. I don't think that it is possible for a cancer patient to be given too much support or too much hope for a bright future. The Hope is what gets you through the toughest days when you can barely move away from the couch or when your head is face down in a toilet. All I have to think about to get me through those tough times is that God has a bigger plan. No we are not in control but what we are in control of is how we react to the trials and tribulations that are set before us.

I fight because I am madly in Love with a girl that has and will continue to do anything for me. I fight because I have an amazing family that I talk to everyday and they put a huge smile on my face. I fight because I have an amazing sister who is just waiting to give me her bone marrow. I fight because of the friends that have bent over backwards to support us. And today I realized that I also fight for those that fought but didn't make it.

So in conclusion I am truly Back In The High Life Again. My perspective on life as once again been changed for the better. As my Mom would say "Its a God thing!" And it truly is. We sometimes get so caught up in our own everyday issues that bog us down but the strange fix to our issues is perspective. There is always someone out there that is going through something much harder and once we realize that our issues and problems seem to not matter as much anymore. We might even appreciate some of those so called problems if we look at those from a positive perspective as well.

God is Good and he is always working!

Brian Pritchard

If it is not one thing it is DEFINATELY another...

Monday's chemo went well. Brian was pretty tired as usual. We have had a lot of appointments the past few days which did not leave him a lot of time to nap. Between chemo, radiation, and orthopedic surgeon appointments we spend more time in the car then we do at home. Although chemo went better on Monday we still ran into problems.

Brian got up around 1 am Tuesday morning not feeling well and by the time he woke me up at 3:30, I took his temp. he was at about 102.6 degrees (YIKES). So I threw some cold packs on him, gave him cold water and Ibuprofen. Brian hates cold packs but it does help cool his body (he disagrees) and I needed to do something quick to get his temp under control. We had to call the on call doctor and we decided with her that he did not need to go to ER. She thought it might have something to do with chemo from Monday.

Tuesday morning we went in for chemo and they sent us straight down to see the doctor. There was some suspicion he might have to get admitted to the hospital- he was pretty sad. Since Brian has been running low grade fever's since Christmas and now spiked a high fever our doctor thought he might have some kind of infection viral or bacterial. He decided he did not have to get admitted (THANK GOD) and put him on a z-pak as well as give him IV anti-biotics to get the process going. We have given him Tylenol and ibuprofen around the clock to keep his temp down. He has gone about 9 hours without medication and a normal temp but has just started to creep up again.

Once again with all of his appointments he nor I had time to nap yesterday so we were pretty exhausted all day since we were up all morning. Last night we gave him Tylenol and ibuprofen PM to help him sleep and keep his temp down. We both were out like lights! Today we went back into the office to get some anti-nausea meds and fluids via IV. Our doctor said the last thing we need on top of this fever is for him to be sick to his stomach and dehydrated. Luckily, they squeezed us in at radiation so we were able to do everything at once today and could come home and rest. It is wonderful having a free afternoon to run to the pharmacy, pick up groceries, and nap. I have been running on low lately so I snuck away for 30 min to get a quick massage at the place next to our house. It was just what I needed to help me relax and rejuvenate in order to take care of Brian. I came home and Brian said WOW you seem to be much better, I laughed because I felt a lot better. My body was beat up from staying up to watch Brian with his fever and attempting to sleep in a 20 year old recliner.

Brian will just have radiation tomorrow and then will go back in for more fluids/anti-nausea meds on Friday. Hopefully, if we can stay on top of everything we will have a smooth end to the week.

Pray that he can fight whatever is going on and stay hydrated!

As always, thank you all for your support, kind words, and prayers.

P.S. A shout out to Mrs. Smith's 2nd grade class. Thanks for the cool cards and comments on the blog!

Also, there are pictures under Jan. 1

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season just like Stacey and I. It was great to be around such good family and friends for the last couple of weeks. We are all looking for this new year with a lot of hope and promise. I have had 6 radiation treatments so far and things seem to be going fine so far. I do feel a little sluggish and take frequent naps in the afternoons. I have pretty much just been taking it easy since I broke my foot. It is feeling better and there is not as much pain with the foot so that is a blessing. Everyday has seen me chilling on the couch napping, getting rested up and watching football. Stacey has been a saint. She has been waiting on me hand and foot to see that I get hydrated and healthy. It has been a whole new set of challenges due to a lack of mobility and just like all of the challenges that we have faced Stacey has met it head on with a smile on her face. What a gift from God my amazing wife is!! God is Good!

Tomorrow I start another round of Chemotherapy. Last week there was confusion about when I could start and they decided to wait until Monday to make sure that my blood counts were in good shape. It is the same regiment as my last treatment but hopefully it goes better than the last time. I got sick 3 times last round and became very dehydrated because of it. We are going to be proactive this time with the fluids and I am going to get some fluids from the hospital as needed. We are also going to have me take my antinausea medicine every 8 hours to prevent that side effect.

Pray that things go good and that the radiation treatments continue to go well! God is Good! Happy New Year to all and lets hope for a great 2011!

Brian Pritchard

New year new chemo

Good-Bye 2010 HELLO 2011. Brian and I welcome the new year with nothing but open arms. We have grown so much in the past year as individuals and as a couple. We have learned more about our strength, commitment, endurance, and most of all our love for each other. It sure has not been an easy year, but what we have learned this past year is something that neither of us would trade. We have learned what the meaning of life is...at 25. The house, car, TV (although Brian has taken advantage of his broken foot and new TV) don't mean anything as long as we have each other! With that being said I'm ready for a new year with new possibilities.

We got a camera for Christmas so we can now share pictures with you!

This is me putting together Brian's new TV the first night...and then the final product thanks to my sister's help!

These are our dear friends Peter and Quam as we route on IOWA and Peter's last night in Des Moines.

Our friend Mandi came to visit us and took us out sushi (Brian's was cooked through). We usually spend every New Year's Eve with her and her husband but with Brian's foot and her husband being over seas in the military we had to do lunch instead :(. This is Mandi and Andrew's dog Belle. She was cuddled up to Brian all day and then rode around in his basket. That is Brian's new ride! The scooter has helped him get around a lot easier and is less fatiguing especially after chemo.

This is Brian's new Cast! Hawkeye Black!! Tomorrow night we plan to decorate it with a yellow tiger hawk. You can see a little bit of the bruising on his toes.




This is Brian in Chemo today. He was pretty tired from the IV benadryl, it knocks him out pretty good. Chemo went a lot better today, we are being more proactive with IV anti-nausea meds and IV fluids. It helped that all weekend Brian did nothing but drink water and gatorade. Hopefully, things continue to go better and this round is somewhat easier for him!

Thanks for your support and prayers!!