FORE!

Today it was a steamy 75 degrees....so obviously every patient in the hospital left.  Which = low census = not enough patients to see so voluntary day off.  I jumped all over that when my instructor mentioned it.  I'm not getting paid anyways so it really doesn't affect me.  I could use the learning experience but in my head I could validate my real world experience from the past month of Brian's life. 

This afternoon I took another step into the new Stacey.  I played golf...like real golf..like 9 holes by myself.  I went to a course Brian and I had played before so I was at least familiar with it.  I think every retired person in the Des Moines area also thoguht to play golf becuase it was packed.  I was the youngest by, um, 40 years and I was also the only female.  When I went to pay for my round all the old men in the club house were giving me a hard time.  I was already scared to play by myself, but I held my own against them and poked fun back at them.  It was fun!  I'm pretty sure I hit every tree on the 2nd hole. I would equate my game on 9 holes to Rory McIlroy's performance on Sunday at the Masters.  I'm pretty sure the LPGA will not be calling me up anytime soon to play on tour.  However, I must say when one group of guy's watched me hit I just crushed the heck out of the ball.  I mean it was so good, they all clapped, one guy asked if I played in college. HAHA. Joke is on him that was the first ball I actually hit well.  I have to say I felt pretty cool at that moment.  SPV!  On the last hole I joined up with the guy in front of me.  I yanked my ball, we both laughed.  I told him I was just learning...he said, "Stacey, stay with it I've been playing for years and I still pull my head up and yank the ball."  I think I might have to consider working part time when I'm done with school and just play golf part time.  I like hanging out with all the retirees!

After golf I went on a walk.  I didn't realize how nice it was till I came home sunburnt. I guess I will have a nice base for my trip to Vegas in 3 weeks.  While I was walking I was listening to Dave Matthews, Bartender (watch).  Brian always would explain to me the meaning of songs, but as I listened to this song I created my own meaning. I could feel a breeze over me as I listened to this.  It was refreshing.  It was Brian. This song SCREAMS Brian's last month.  "If I go before I'm old, oh brother of mine, please don't forget me."  That is Brian, I can't forget him, he is apart of me, he made me who I am today.  "And if I die, before my time, oh sweet sister of mine, don't regret me if I die."  I hear Brian telling me to let go of my anxiety and worries from the past year.  All the regrets, let them go.  "Bartender, please fill my glass for me, with the wine you gave Jesus, that set him free after three days down. On bended knees, I pray, bartender please."  I think of Brians last days, last moments.  I hear the prayers that I said, I hear his voice telling me it will be ok. I hear him asking God to take this away, and peacefully take him in his arms.  I see Brian reaching up to Heaven.  "Oh, and if this gold, should steal my soul away, oh mother of mine, please redirect me if this gold..."  It is the lesson Brian and I learned this year.  You can have as many possesions as you want, but when you are gone they don't go with you.  We both learned to put time and energy into things that matter, like faith, family, and friends.  These relationships is what get you through the hard times, the good times, and the better times.  It is funny how Brian still speaks to me, it is through a different medium, but it is him. 

I hope you were able to find the energy in life today...and I hope you could find something good about the day. 

P.s.  I took my laptop to school, got a new keyboard so I can actually use the letters: a, q,w,s, and tab key.  YES!  Also, I had about 60 updates so hopefully things will be running much smoother.  However, I still can't spell check so please no passing judgement, spell check has made my horrible spelling skills worse.

By the way the spottiness on the posts is due to the fact that I've been running around like a crazy woman.  Last week I had so many meetings with friends I didn't eat a single meal at home till Friday night, Saturday night I had to decline dinner because I couldn't take eating out again.  At least a few meals I ate out were salad.  I will try harder this week to stay up on it.  I do enjoy my meet and greets with friends so if I don't post that is probably why.