second leg of trip

So the first leg of my trip landed me in Indianapolis to see family. I spent one night with my grandma and the other night with my cousins. I thought I would make it to the great state of Tennessee by Thursday night but a worried grandma and winter advisory kept me another night. Actually,I loved it. I got to see my cousins and hang out with them. I slept in a room with a giant cardboard replica of Justin Bieber....whoop, whoop. It was hard to contain myself to bed.

The plan today is to drive to Nashville, TN. One of my friends from school is in TN so we are meeting up in Nashville to paint the town with fun! It is always nice to have someone to go to places with when you are in a touristy area. I hope to catch some good live music, Brian and I loved live music.

On the way here I realized that I forgot my wedding ring. The first night I felt pretty sick about it. I had this knot that kept turning and turning in the pit of my stomach. I always took it off while I showered and simply forgot to put it back on with the hustle of leaving so quickly on Tuesday. It feels so weird not to have it on. I feel like I'm doing a horrible thing. So as I drove I sat and sat and just thought about it. I'm not sure there is an exact time when you can take a precious thing like that off. When is too soon and when is too long? It ate me and ate me but I came to realize that is now real. Brian isn't coming back, he isn't going to walk in the door one day as if he was getting milk for 3 weeks. I try to hold onto him through that ring, it is a security blanket. But sometimes you need a cold hard slap in face to realize what is true. I tried to forget about it, but during parts of the day I go to twirl my ring and it isn't there. I have to face it head on a accept that I'm not doing an in-justice to Brian, I have to move on. That is hard.

I remember when Brian bought my ring. It was my junior year of college and we both went on spring break with our friends. He went to Vegas and I went to Florida. Every year his roommates and him would go to Vegas and just play poker. That year was special. Brian entered a poker tournament in Vegas and after a grueling day he won the entire tournament. I think he beat like a couple thousand players- I could be wrong. I remember he called me and I was out with friends but I was SO excited. I kept calling him to tell him to put all the money in his bank and that he couldn't play again. He just had to save it...HAHA. With his win he was offered to go back out to Vegas and play in another tourney. Had he won that he would have played in the World Series Of Poker. Pretty Sweet and always his dream... before me. Unfortunately he got 18th out 200 in that tourney so he did not advance but he still rocked it. The funny thing is, is that anytime he went to a casino after that big win he never did as well. That was fate, him and that tourney. It gave him the means to purpose to me, something he never would have been able to do otherwise. Anytime I would frown because he went to the casino he would black mail me and say, "if it wasn't for my poker you wouldn't have a ring baby!"

Well good-bye Indy and hello Nashville...hopefully I will post pictures on my next post- driving and picture taking is not easy. I keep trying to get pictures of the State line but I always miss.