Back to the real world

Well all things come to end...tomorrow I join the real world again.  I start work/school.  I'm nervous to actually have to wake up to an alarm clock again.  AHHH.  I did take time this weekend to have fun before I start to buckle down again on school. 

The past month I've learned a lot about myself, I've done things I've never thought I would, I've succeeded in challenges, and I'm ready to pick up again and say I can do it.  The past year I've had so much responsibility on my shoulders.  I've had to make hard decisions, decisions most people don't make until they are middle age and are making them for their parents- not their 25 y.o. spouse.  I've had to do more at 25 then what most people have to ever do.  With all this I've just had to have a release.  That is what I did the past month.  I took a solo trip, I met strangers, went out with friends, had a few drinks.  I've tried to forget about all the responsibility I've  had and just focus on anything other then it.  Tomorrow I'm ready to return to the real world (for a little bit anyways).

School is winding down and I have to start making decisions on what to do with the rest of my life.  This is the first time I can make all decisions based on Stacey.  It is such a weird feeling.  Before everything had to be a mutual decision and it had to be for what was best for the family.  When I chose a school I had to do so with the best interest for Brian and I.  That isn't so anymore.  If I want to take a risk and go on a limb I can, there isn't anyone else to worry about.  When you are married 'YOU' aren't a priority.  Every thought revolves around the other person and 'your' individual needs go out the window.  I loved that.  However, now it is time to focus on Stacey.  I'm not sure what I want or what I'm going to do.  All 'SELF' ideas went out the window 5 years ago...and those ideas are different now, because I'm different, I've changed. 

I'm not very nervous on what I'm going to do or what the future will hold.  Life is short, I know I have a path already chosen for me.  It is time to sit and follow that- that requires belief, hope, faith, and patience.  All of which can make the path challenging but as I look at my life, there has never not been a challenge so I can do it.  God will see me through on his plan, he will give me the strength as he has all along.