God has his ways!

The title of this post I think is most appropriate after this weekend, week, month, and year! Brian has one more round of chemo left then we go to Iowa City for his transplant followed by radiation. Although, the road we are on is necessary it is definitely getting long and tiring. This week I started school again, my last semester (of PT school). However, with school comes more stress on top of an already stressful situation. This semester my classmates and I have to prepare for our cumulative test. As I stare down my bookshelves of notes/texts I get nervous on how I'm going to pull off studying for my comp test, studying for regular classes, support Brian, be with Brian for a month in Iowa City, sleep, eat, and study more. On top of it all, it is hard to do anything productive when you watch your love one battle cancer. This weekend I finally was able to sit down and open some old texts, and just as I did, Brian entered my GRAD SCHOOL CAVE with a letter we received in the mail. He told me I had to read it, and while I will keep everyone anonymous I will share with you the inspiring words. This letter was intended mainly for Brian but I got so much out of it. God seems to have a way to pick you up when you seem to be down. This letter was just what I needed to renew my spirit of, "I can do it!" It is not an easy road, it is the road most wouldn't travel, but I can do it. I don't regret or wish this would have never happened because I would never take back this journey. I have learned more the past 6 months then I have in the past 23 years. I have grown in my faith, as a person, as a friend, as a wife, and every other role I will be in my life.
The letter we received told us how much Brian and I were an inspiration. I don't think of myself as an inspiration as much as Brian, hardly in fact. I see everyone who reads this blog, sends us cards, asks how we are doing, prays for us, provides care for us as an inspiration. You give us hope!
One major lesson I've learned is not to put off tomorrow what you can SAY today. I look back and hate that I spent majority of the past two years locked away in a library. I hate how many dinners I missed out on with Brian, because I was so focused on my school. School is important, but spending time with my husband, I see now, is priceless. If we inspire you in any way I hope we inspire you to not worry about possessions, relationships are more important. I hope you say today what you want to and not hold back till tomorrow. I hope you understand that when it is all said and done your big screen tv, salary, car, and house don't follow you anywhere, however, your faith, family, and friends do.

Here is a short insert from our letter:
"It is so easy for people to get caught up in all the ups and downs in life and quickly forget the path that took them there, and the people they met along the way. Sometimes we forget to say "thank you" or "I Love You" or tell people and family around us why they are special or why we are grateful they are in our lives. It is amazing that people go a majority of their life without telling people what they need to hear the most, and instead waste time criticizing, ignoring, and avoiding what needs to be said."
THANK YOU ALL!

Brian went back in Thursday for chemo and was discharged Saturday night. Seven rounds of chemo starts to accumulate and while over all he is doing good the cumulative affects add up. Saturday Brian had an upset stomach... I told him I'm sure half the people in IA city currently have an upset stomach as well, induced by a much different liquid of course. I'm not sure if he got sick secondary to the chemo or his pre-game nerves that he gets every Saturday the Hawks play. However, he blamed it on the 2 mile walk I made him go on prior (to relieve his nerves about the game), I think it is the horse pills he has to take because that is what initiated the process. We have definitely learned this is a process of trial and error. Shots need to be given at night so you can take pain pills and be knocked out and not experience the pain, toothpaste in the hospital needs to be bubblegum, ipod and water bottle at all appointments is a must, boxers for surgery, and pills need to be taken with viscous liquid.

Have a great holiday!